Navigating family gatherings as a survivor of immature parenting or child abuse.

The sights, smells, and tastes of the holiday season can trigger anxiety, stress, and fear when at family gatherings, especially for those with symptoms of complex trauma. Growing up in an abusive or toxic home environment can make family gatherings stressful and trigger unwanted traumatic memories. Here are some takeaways on how to navigate and engage with family.

Set boundaries.

Sometimes, it's okay to say no to gatherings. You have the right to altogether avoid certain family members. It is not a sign of weakness but rather a strength.

Lean on a support system

Stay connected to your support system. Talking can help diffuse the complex thoughts and reactions to dysfunctional family dynamics.

Be kind to yourself.

Partake in self-care and connect with friends before and after a gathering. Reciting positive affirmations can remind you of your self-worth and how far you have come as you are projected back to old family dynamics.

Radical acceptance techniques.

Breathe deeply, connect with the body, and practice radical acceptance as a distress tolerance skill. Radical acceptance is NOT approving events or behaviors, but instead wholly accepting through the mind, body, and spirit that we cannot change present facts, even if we do not like them. This process frees us from anger and sadness. We feel the pain, but we do not suffer.

Plan for the expected.

Sometimes, giving yourself space to think ahead and plan for the expected empowers you to know your boundaries and consider exit strategies ahead of time.

Create new memories and traditions.

Around big holidays with those you love - a chosen family that will empower you by providing a space to enjoy festivities in your way.