Setting boundaries after trauma

Trauma can affect you in many ways, affecting how you see the world and how you are in your relationships. Issues of trust, safety, and control are common in those who have experienced trauma. Boundaries were disrespected, and you have learned that saying 'no' is triggering, so you avoid doing so. Not saying 'no' continues the cycle of boundary crossing by accommodating disrespectful behavior. The effect of not setting boundaries is that it causes feelings of worthlessness and low self-esteem. Therefore, learning how to put boundaries in place, start the healing process, and regain feelings of control, safety, and trust is necessary.

What are my boundaries?

Reflect on your limits. Is it physical touch or not speaking up when disrespected? Take time to write them out so they are clear in your mind. It is okay to say no; it is about protecting your space and your peace.

How do I communicate boundaries?

Use "I" statements, be assertive but calm, and communicate how the behavior is affecting you. Voice your boundaries might seem scary, but remember why you are doing it; they are necessary to your well-being.

Keep them consistent.

It is important to be consistent with our boundaries, even if it is hard work and anxiety-inducing, to keep voicing our needs. At first, you might feel guilty or experience some resistance from others, but eventually, it will become more manageable.